bubbly 1st cousins

joy, john, and emil.

hope to see you all next time!

Korean Friends @ Payatas Ascension Chapel

Sto. Nino Feast, Jan 12, 2008

Thanks for sharing your blessings with the children of Payatas-Ascension Chapel!

autodidactic

i'm wasting my time in school.

in fact, i've wasted much of my life trying to learn inside the classroom. my real education, however, happened beyond the course curriculum. i breezed through grade school, high school, college, and graduate school in the hope of getting a good education. Admittedly, I didn't learn anything worthwhile. In fact, I always read the books that weren't required for class. I enjoyed and devoured them more than I did the handouts and textbooks that I was required to study. Consequently, I was not successful in school. I was a failure.

But I never allowed my schooling to interfere with my education. I have learned many things on my own. I have picked up new skills by self-study. The world of books has been my university. With the internet, learning has been made even easier and faster.

I continued to learn even when formal schooling took up much of my time. Even though I have been given the privilege of a good schooling, it only stifled my love for learning.

for all its merits, formal education has a way of making you feel bad about yourself. you get graded and you lose your interest in learning for learning's sake. you study to get a good grade, instead. you fret about how your future will be ruined when you don't get that BS, MA, or PhD.

life often has a sense of irony. sometime ago, i became a teacher. on many occassions, i had students who felt bad about themselves because they didn't make the grade. I pitied them but the educational system has its rules and you have to play by the rules. the sadder thing was, I upheld and implemented the very system i was against.

yayam and cheenee's version of a chibi ogie

thanks, yayam and cheenee! =)

for more chibis, visit yammiedoo.multiply.com

first blush (part 2)

how often do you get to chronicle your "first date"?

not very often perhaps; unless, your first date happened when you were already way past legal age.

unfortunately for me, my 14-years-and-3-month-old self had decided to write down an account of my first date.

I must have felt very euphoric that day since I wrote the entry in the middle of the night. Whatever had happened that day must have been really significant because I included several other details as I began the entry, as though I wanted my future self to accurately reconstruct the whole experience.

Here's another account of teenage infatuation and hormones:

PSHS-MC Dorm Room #3
12:55 AM, Sept. 12, 1992

Dear Diary,

I had one of the most exciting moments of my life. For the first time in my personal history, In dated the girl who turned my life inside out. It was quite a thrilling experience for a first-timer like me.

We met at Galaxy Arcade at 12:45 PM and we went inside Galaxy Theater at five minutes to one. Even though she was acompanied by a friend, he looked harmless.

I feel timid, however, whenever somebody accompanies me and a girl.

The movie was entitled, "Universal Soldier".

After the movie, we went to JS Gaisano for a break. She ordered Double Dutch and I ordered Mocha. We ate with my friend, Sherleen. What was funny about it was that my friend kept on telling me to speak to my date.

Well, here goes my shyness...I always feel nervous when talking to girls, so I can't blame my self. It's my nature, "gets"?

At about 20 minutes past four, I bade her adieu. She thanked me with an enchanting smile. Guess what? It sent a shiver to my bones.

Well, let me first tell you the preview to all these happiness. It all started one Sunday evening. My roommates and I made a bet that if they could invite a girl to the movies, I would treat them both. So the following day, after school, they all told me that they already had their dates: Juanito-Sherleen, Elson-Cheryl, Valmes-Mara. I was the onle one left who didn't have a partner.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed and still no prospects.

Thursday, I asked one of my classmates. Karina, if she could come this Saturday. Unluckily, she had research work to do. I was downhearted, sad. I thought that it might be better for me if I didn't have any partner at all.

That evening, after dinner, as I filed my gate pass, we met Wowie, a friend and roommate of ***. Juanito told Wowie that I didn't have a partner for Saturday. So she told me not to worry, she would bridge me and the girl. I was about to go back to our dorm when Wowie and Sherleen called me over. They said that if I really wanted to date the girl, I must tell her frankly. They told me that the girl didn't like "torpes" and that if I expressed my feelings openly, it would be much better. They suggested that I invite the girl. At first, I thought it was silly. However, they told me it was true and that I must do it and act right now.

So, Wowie called for the girl. I waited downstairs. When she came down, she wore a spohisticated look. I was aghast! When I started to speak, I was acting foolishly and mind you, I started to be politer than an Englishman. She answered that she will not yet compromise because they still  have research work on Saturday morning. She told me that if she could come, she will inform me on Friday. I said, Goodnight. and away I went. I lost my voice and I treated my friends with one chocobar each.

The following morning, I went to class early. Again, Sherleen told me to ask the girl if she would come. I thought I was going to ask her at recess time but my friend insisted--"RIGHT NOW!" From what I heard, it was more an order. She made arrangements with the girl that we will talk and I summoned up my guts and lo, there goes me and my life..her answer will determine my honor, my life, and dignity.

The confrontation:
"Hi, ***! Tungkol sa napag-usapan natin kagabi, payag ka ba?"
She whizzed for a while and said, "Sige."
That was music to my ears. I couldn't believe she said that. I was deeply overjoyed. Wowie, John, Sherleen, Elson, Val, Mervin, and some of my other friends were happy for me.

Finally, after spending a year of seclusion and implementing a "closed door policy" on love, I was returning back to civilization. I just can't tell whether I will jump or simply be on Cloud 9. Truly, Love is marvelous.

[A stray note from the same entry]
She looked sexier in a red polo shirt and faded tight fitting jeans. Of course, she wore that mysterious smile.

If I were to teach my 14-year-old self three lessons from this experience, it would be:

Lesson 1: Never settle for a chaperoned date. Especially if the chaperone happens to be a heterosexual male friend of the girl. No matter how harmless he may look, he is still male, and heterosexual.

Lesson 2: "Universal Soldier" isn't exactly a date movie. While you may have thought that the Romans went to see gladiator fights with their dates, this isn't Rome and this isn't the glory days of the empire.

Lesson 3: Never ever smile when you're eating mocha ice cream. Enough said.

first blush (part 1)

(this is the actual journal)
Rummaging through the scattered mess in search of my room's key, I found an old journal which I had when I was still in first year high school. I leisurely leafed through the stained and yellowing pages, forgetting all about the key. Entry by entry, I relived scenes from my adolescent awakening.

A journal is like a snapshot. They preserve who you were at a certain point in time. That could be a good thing. Or it could also make a turn for the worst.

Like looking at I-swear-I-didn't-look-that-way-before pictures, my own journal entries made me cringe at how  embarrassing I must have sounded as a high school freshman.

here's a "lovestruck" entry from September 4, 1991, Wednesday:

Dearest Aphrodite,

Thy son Eros struck me with his arrow of love. The muse of poetry once again inspired my soul, even though the goddess of discord called me a poetaster. Still she can't stop my decision, I'm going to write "her" a poem.

Even the Fates can't cut my life short for Love is the strongest force on earth--mortal or immortal, intelligent or dull, lover or hater--all fall under its spell. Apollo had struck his lyre, from which came the language of the soul. Zeus made me a destiny--a destiny to love a girl with the likeness of Artemis, the mortal beauty of Helen, and the warmth of Vesta.

At first sight, I was struck by Thor's lightning. Odin's revens Huynim and Munim provided me an intellect to know her attitude. Even Mimir, the guradian of the wisdom well, offered water from the well for me to use my knowledge in order to court her.

Loki,however, didn't seem to care. Freya made her as beautiful as ever, Balder enriched her with a kind and good heart where no mistletoe of evil could destroy her.

Truly, this time I feel like being in heaven, in Olympus or Asgard, wherever the place is, paradise is with me wherever she goes.

Eew.

Dear Self at Age 13,

I understand the infatuated talk.
But invoking the mythologies you enjoyed as a young kid and using them to express what you feel inside is just, well, geeky.

Good luck with your adult life.

From your Self at Age 30.

least expectations

It wasn't even in my list of least expected events.

I expected a hearty meal to celebrate the Society's feastday. I expected to enjoy the night conversing with friends. I expected to be entertained by the different performances.

That is why I was taken aback when one of the novices (whom i later found out was named Bryan) approached me and handed me something:

"Bro, may kilala ba kayong Ana?"--awkward moment--"may ipinaabot po kasing sulat."

I've known several people named "Ana" in my lifetime and none of them would have had any motivation at all to send me a letter on new year's day.

"Ahh," I said, faking some semblance of recognition. "Taga-saan nga?"

"Taga-RC, bro," said the novice. "Basta kasama nyo raw sila pag nag-iikot kayo sa RC."

RC was a purok in Area G in Sapang Palay. That I knew.

I also remembered that several little children would accompany me as I immersed myself in our Sunday Apostolate in Area G. But that was several years ago and I have been to many places and have met many people since then.

To spare us both the awkwardness of my futile attempt at recalling, I just admitted to the novice that I seemed to have forgotten who "Ana" was. So I pocketed the letter--still inside its envelope--and told him to extend my thanks to "Ana".

After a while, I curiously opened the envelope. The letter itself was written on a Winnie-the-Pooh stationery that seemed to have been torn off from a notebook.

It read:

Dear Brother Ogie!

Hello po Brother Ogie! Kumusta po kayo? Its been a long time nang magkita po tayo. At siguro po hindi mo na po ako kilala--"I am [sic] almost seven years old nang makilala ko po kayo nila Brother J-jay and Brother Onemig and Brother Aldrin...At hanggang ngayon po hindi ko pa po kayo nakakalimutan. Kasi po, ang saya-saya ko po nung mga panahong kasama ko kayo...actually marami nga po kaming mga bata na napalapit sa inyo eh! Natatandaan mo pa po ba sila Tintin, Nene, at Rachel? Yung mga makukulit pong bata na tuwing linggo'y nangungulit sa inyo? Kasama po ako sa kanila...

Ako po si Ana. After 22 [sic] years ngayon lang po ako nagkaroon ng chance na makumusta ko kayo. Alam nyo po, nung mabalitaan ko pong wala na kayo sa simbahan, nalungkot po ako at nagtampo po ako sa inyo...kasi po hindi ko po alam na aalis kayo. Hindi man lang po ako nakapagpaalam sa inyo. Pero hindi ko po pala dapat maramdaman sa inyo yon. Kasi po kailangan nyo po pala talagang umalis...Nuon ko lang po yun nalaman nung mag choir ako sa simbahan at nakita ko pong kailangan po pala talaga ninyong iwan ang kapilya kahit na marami po kayong masasayang ala-alang maiiwan dito para po idistino kayo sa ibang lugar.

Alam mo po Bro. Ogie, ngayon miyembro na po ako ng kabataan sa simbahan. Ansaya nga po eh! Ah, bro. congrats nga po pala...sabi po kasi ni Bro.Bryan magpa-pari kana po. Natutuwa po ako para sa inyo. Alam mo po Brother, nami-miss ko na po talaga kayo! Ano na po kayang itsura nyo? Nga po pala Brother Ogie, ikaw na lang po ang bahalang kumamusta kela Bro. Jay-jay, Bro. Onemig & Bro. Aldrin kapag nagkita po kayo paki-sabi na lang pong kinukumusta po namin sila.

Hanggang dito na lang po! Mag-iingat po kayo palagi. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

I folded the letter after reading it. I smiled.

Then I began to remember once more how little children would always tag along during Sunday Apostolate.

But I still could not recall who "Ana" was.

Yet I continued to smile even after I had already pocketed the letter.

I kept smiling!

Now, I didn't expect that.

new year 2008

bawal fireworks sa village namin. habang parang may gulf war na sa paligid ng fort.