Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Thrill

Imagine ziplining at 12 meters per second through an almost 700 meter long cable, dangling facedown from a harness 600 feet up in the air, gliding across a landscape of precipitous waterfalls, rocky streams, and pointy trees.

Imagine doing it twice, in span of a few minutes, but covering half the distance.

As I was waiting for my turn to take that zipline ride near Lake Sebu, I wondered what draws people to attempt such stunts.

Ziplining entails a lot of risks, raises a lot of fears, but promises a one-of-a-kind experience.

I stepped up to that platform — palms clammy, heart pounding through my chest, vision blurring — and for a split second, I wanted to back out. I was immensely nervous that I could feel my courage ebbing with each millisecond. I couldn't even clench my fist because my strength was leaking out of me, as well.

I definitely knew I was afraid. Of heights. Of plummeting to my death. Of the ropes snapping. Of some freak accident happening despite the park's safety measures (I hope).

I certainly knew I was excited. To take the challenge. To take the adventure. To face my fears. To experience the prospect of a thrilling ride.

Thrill is the intersection of fear and excitement. Eventually, it was thrill that pushed me off the platform, and kept me company for the longest 45 seconds of my life.

Midway through the zipline, my initial primal scream ran out. When I had finished shouting at the top of my lungs, I was finally able to take in the awesome beauty of it all.

"Lord," 


was the first and only thing I could think about. It wasn't a curse word, really. I just couldn't think of anything that was almost as majestic and transcendental.

Then I remembered the people whom I wished would also experience what I was going through at that point. I have heard that when someone brushes shoulders with death, one only sees the faces of the most important people in one's life.

I guess I learned something from that brief detail, I spontaneously became aware of the most important people in my life. And as much as I have tried to suppress your memory, I saw your face clearly then; you were smiling the way you smiled when we took our first motorcycle ride together.

The lure of the thrill pushed me off the platform. Thrill is a powerful motivation. It can make you feel alive, or it can get you killed. When it comes to thrill, life and death become flip sides of the same coin. You begin to understand clearly when you are in those limit situations.

I think that is why I'm attracted to it. When I was younger, I lived for those moments. But not anymore. I just enjoy them as they come. Thrill might give one a reason to stay alive, but living from one thrill to the next may not necessarily keep one alive. Thrills are meant to be enjoyed for their ephemeral character. Its magnificence lies in its very transience.

I'd like to keep it that way. Because when the extraordinary becomes the ordinary, what else is there to live for?

No comments: