i'm going to sleep.
that's what i thought, at least, an hour and a half ago. there were times when i could actually fall asleep before midnight, and that didn't take much of an effort. all i had to do was lie down and i would just drift off into unconsciousness. exhaustion needs no motivation.
when i was younger, several thoughts would preoccupy me before i went to sleep. on certain nights, i would be thinking about a person. on other nights, i would be reviewing an event in my mind and fantasizing about possible scenarios. and then, there would be those nights when i'd feel troubled or dissatisfied. is it possible that someone tends to think a lot when one is actually lonely or sad? i remember what mr.calasanz said in my advanced phenomenology class. when you're happy, you don't really think much about "life". back then, that remark struck me. it seems that people who use their heads too much end up lonelier than most people. or is it because they are lonelier, in the first place, that they end up thinking too much?
i'm not really sure how i'd answer that. i used to think too much. but i didn't really think much about great ideas or great problems. mostly, i thought about the trivialities of my own life and my relationships with other people. really, i barely thought about what others really thought; instead, i thought about what i think others might be thinking about me. i have picked up from somewhere that all thinking is reflexive. somehow, whether you think about others in general, or about a particular person, everything refers back to you.
maybe that's why thinking is a lonely enterprise that produces an even lonelier outcome. while you may seemingly have "objects" of your own thought, the "objects" reveal more of the subject that thinks about it. in the end, you just end up with more of your own self, which is not really a bad thing.
maybe socrates might have meant it differently. while i believe that the unexamined life is not worth living, the overly examined life may not be worthily called a life at all.
2 comments:
about 60% of the time before i go to sleep, i end up thinking what others are experiencing at that time or what they're thinking. i felt like i have to discover something. not about my own life but about others. what does this mean? does thinking a lot makes me a lonely, sad person? OT here bro, pero ganda ng parang early morning pic ng bed. :D
I think all the time as well, and my mind is most active late at night. thats why i have difficulty sleeping most of the time.:D sometimes, i pretend im asleep but im actually not asleep because i cant stop thinking about random things!!!:D thinking doesnt make me sad. just irritated because it prevents me from going to sleep immediately:D
Post a Comment